It is a HUGE misconception for any alcoholic that’s in recovery to think that once they are living in recovery, they will NEVER think of alcohol again. Same goes for addicts. Here’s the truth, any alcoholic (or addict) who tells you that they never think about it is not being honest. We all think about it from time to time, no matter how long we have been sober (or clean) Here’s the thing, in the beginning of recovery, we still think about it more often than not. As time goes on, we think about it less and less and the thoughts come few and far between. But we DO still think about it. Just thinking about it does not mean we are on the verge of relapse. It’s merely a thought in our head. It’s when we put that thought into action that we’re doomed.
Every time I see a Fireball or Jack Daniels Fire commercial, I admit it, I damn near drool. Then I instantly remind myself of the consequences that will surely follow if I put that thought into action. It’s a matter of looking past the initial thought. Look past how good that will taste on your tongue. Look past how that slow burn as it goes down your throat will feel. Look past the instant warm feeling that just seems to consume you and welcome you back. Think about what will surely follow once you take that first drink. Think about undoing everything you’ve accomplished in recovery such as your sanity, your serenity, the trust you’ve rebuilt and the damage you will cause not only to yourself, but everyone around you as well. Don’t think for a second that after you’ve been sober for awhile, you can go back and drink like a normal person because you can’t.
When you are in recovery, your obsession has been removed after awhile, but because of the way we are wired, we will NEVER be able to drink like a normal person. No matter how much recovery we may have under our belt, all it will take is ONE drink to set us off balance and we’re right back where we used to be. If you’re reading this and you’re an addict, don’t think you can go out there and drink because booze ain’t your thing. Addicts are Alcoholics in training. One mood altering substance WILL lead you back to your drug of choice. Make no mistake, alcohol may be legal, it doesn’t come in a bottle from the pharmacy, it doesn’t come in a little plastic bag and it’s socially acceptable but it IS still a drug.
No one knows exactly why some people become alcoholics (or addicts) and some don’t. We are taught to think of it as an allergy of some sort. Our bodies do not react in the same way to alcohol as those who do not have a problem with it. That’s the best and only way I can explain it. Staying sober is possible, but it’s important to understand that we can never drink again. There is no cure for this disease therefore once it’s out of your system in recovery, You can NEVER drink again. It may seem unbelievable to you but the truth is, just one drink will lead you right back where you left off. That’s the way we are wired. Each time you try it will get worse, never better.
Would I like the freedom to drink like everyone else, sure I would. Can I? Definitely not. I don’t want just “a” drink, I want the bottle. That’s the kind of alcoholic I am. There’s no such thing as just one. Is one drink worth throwing away almost six years of regained trust, new found respect, my marriage, a calm sense of peace and my new found freedom? NO it isn’t. I’ll be the first person to admit that I do have another relapse in me. What I don’t have, is another recovery. One drink will lead me straight to the grave and I have no doubt about that whatsoever.
Of course, we all think we’re different and think we can handle it. If you feel you are one of those individuals, let me know how that works for you. It doesn’t matter what kind of drunk you were. Black out,drinker, binge drinker, excessive drinker…..none of that matters. If you’re an alcoholic, than it’s the same for you as it is for the rest of us.
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist