I went to a meeting to hear someone speak last night and afterwords I had a conversation with a newcomer who was only three days clean. She said something to me that completely threw me into the next universe. She explained that she still had quite a stash at her house and when I asked her why she was still holding onto it if she’s seeking recovery she said in a very “Matter a fact” kind of way….”I’m holding onto it JUST IN CASE.” Without thinking I responded in shock…”Just in case what?????” If you are really interested in recovery than why hold onto the very thing that has kept you prisoner all this time?? It reminded me of one of my first sponcees who managed to stay sober for five whole days went to a meeting then bought two bottles of champagne to “Celebrate” his sobriety as he put it. Both excuses are equivalent to having diarrhea and consuming a whole box of Ex-lax to try to “fix” the problem.
If you are wanting to SERIOUSLY get clean and sober you MUST take it seriously. Old habits must change and you MUST be willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES in order to achieve your goal of sobriety. It’s NOT a game. By maintaining your old habits while trying to achieve sobriety you’re playing Russian Roulette. Lemme keep it real here….It’s all or nothing! Once can’t live a sober life while maintaining an alcoholic / addicts way of thinking. Point blank. There is always a choice but remember that each choice will have a consequence. One will be a positive consequence and the other will be a deadly one in the long run. You MUST chose one or the other. You can’t have both.
You can not achieve true sobriety on your own in spite of what you may think. No matter what kind of recovery program you chose but they all have two things in common….UNITY & the desire to stay clean and sober in order to LIVE.
“We” can justify our every move and in our minds it makes complete sense but the en
result will always be death. Is drinking / using worth your life? Is running away from problems / situations and feelings worth it? Facing your demons and dealing with them as scary as it may be will guarantee your life. In fact it will guarantee a life you never thought possible. But ONLY if you are willing to give up the life you’ve been just “existing” in. “FEAR” will surely keep you from finding the kind of life you deserve. As I have already said….You can’t have both. I can’t “make” anyone get clean / sober. I can’t convince anyone to do it either. It’s a decision that one must make for themselves. Once the decision is made there will be doors of possibilities that will begin to open up and “life” will take on a whole new meaning.
To a newcomer that may sound completely unbelievable and full of crap. Believe me I was one of those newcomers. I tried entering recovery with my “I can still do this my way” attitude and failed miserably. I didn’t believe for a minute that what was before me was going to work. After my failure my attitude became “I’m broke how do you fix me?” I stuck with it though because I was broken and desperate…..therefore I became willing to try anything. I was ready. I started drinking and using when I was twelve years old and didn’t enter recovery until I was forty. I wasted most of my life stuck in the world of addiction. It controlled me until such time that I took control. It took changes that I was afraid to make but desperate enough to finally make them. That was over five years ago. Trust me when I tell you that it IS possible.
There can’t be any “Just in case” ways of thinking. Just in case will get you killed. Change is nothing but a thought in your head until you put ACTION to it and nothing will ever change unless things change.
AJ Menendez; Master Male Illusionist