I’m dedicating this blog to one of my very special sponcee’s since she’s the one who inspired me to write it. I won’t mention her by name, she knows who she is. “You’ve gotten your wings back baby girl, now it’s time you learn to fly. I love you”
Many times we (people in recovery) get so consumed in the recovery process that we forget to actually live. It becomes a safe place to hide and we’d much rather remain in our safe place, rather than enter the big bad world of the unknown. During our active addictions, we weren’t living at all, we were merely existing. The recovery process allows us to get out there and live, enjoy life as never before. Yes, recovery will be a part of our lives until we leave this world, and at no time are we ever to forget that. HOWEVER COMMA……it is just as important to “LIVE” the new lives that we are given without fear, What if’s or wondering if you’re worthy of having a life that consists of happiness and peace.
In active addiction, many of us get so used to living in havoc, mayhem, turmoil and self loathing that it becomes “normal” to us. We live like that for so long, we don’t know any other way. Then we enter the wonderful world of recovery and it’s like a cosmic shift. Suddenly we feel better, we have a whole different way of looking at things, we have found an inner peace that quite frankly scares the hell out of us because to us, this way of life is foreign and so very unknown. Recovery gives us the tools to live a normal life, but “WE” have to actually go out and LIVE that life. Recovery gives us a “Do over” If we allow the fear of the unknown to consume us, than it defeats the purpose. You’re clean, you’re sober but you’re still not “living” Fear of the unknown, Doubt that you’re worthy of having a second chance because of all the past damage you caused. PAST being the operative word. The whole purpose of getting clean and sober is to save your life. Recovery makes that possible so why would you stunt yourself from living the life you deserve?
People make mistakes, ALL people, not just addicts, alcoholics. It’s part of being human. Now that you’ve been given a second chance, embrace it and know that you’re worth the chance you’ve been given. We stunt ourselves in addiction, don’t stunt yourself in recovery. We were miserable throughout our addictions, we don’t get clean and sober to remain miserable and restricted. Live life to the fullest and don’t be afraid of it. You may not trust yourselves yet, that’s normal, but you must trust the recovery process and living life is part of that process. We’re still gonna make mistakes, we’re human, we’re still gonna get hurt, we’re human, and yes, life is still gonna suck sometimes even in recovery but that’s when you use the tools we’ve been given and TRUST the process and move forward, don’t hide behind it and keep yourself stunted. I promise, when you let go and move out of that safe zone, you’ll find there was nothing to be afraid of. In addition to firmly believing in the process, it’s important that you believe in yourself and the fact that you are worthy of living a happy, normal life.
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist.