A friend of mine said something to me this morning that got me thinking and inspired this entry.
“The voice of recovery” for We are 1 voice”
Co-host of “The pit stop” Living with addiction
Teaching at a Recovery Center
Sponsoring those who are new to recovery
Making myself available to any and all who seek advice or help with their own struggles
Trying to always be on the positive side
These are all things that I try to do not only help in my own recovery, but to try to help other individuals who may be struggling. I have chosen not to maintain my own anonymity mainly because I wanted to help others to see that even when you’re in the public eye, recovery is possible and living a normal life can be done no matter how far down the sink hole you’ve sunk. To the outside world, I’m viewed as being a positive individual who as managed to over come my own struggle with alcoholism.
As important as it is for you to see that it can be done, it’s doubly important for you to realize that by the Grace of God I’ve managed to make it this far, I’m NOT exempt from relapse at all. Public figure or not, I’m still an Alcoholic and I can fall off that proverbial wagon just as easily as any other. I’m not special or different than any other person struggling with alcoholism. Although I do not have the desire to drink today, unless I maintain my own sense of recovery and serenity, it could come back and hit me at any time. Relapse is ALWAYS a possibility no matter who we are or how far we’ve come. I’ve seen people with double digests in sobriety fall off and hit bottom at the speed of light.
Why am I telling you this? Because it’s important to me that you realize although I will do what I can for others who reach out, I’m NOT exempt from a relapse in any way, shape or form. In spite of the way some may view me as being a strong survivor, I still struggle with every day. Not necessarily with the desire to drink, but I still struggle with my demons, stress, emotions and living life on life’s terms. Unless I remember to take care of “me” I could easily lose that fight. Today I have no desire to drink, but at the same time as much as I would love to tell you I’ll never drink again, that’s a statement I can’t make. What I can say is that I will continue to do what ever I need to do to make sure that I don’t drink…..
Just for today.
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist.