If you feel you may be suffering from an addiction problem of any kind, there are a few things you should know. Most importantly, asking for help does NOT mean you’re weak, it means you’re grabbing a hold of what strength you have left.
1.Nobody can get you clean or sober but You.
2. Although there are people who can help / guide you, YOU have to put in the work, it’s not going to just happen.
3. YOU have to be WILLING to put in the work and if you’re not, don’t wonder why it’s not working.
4. A sponsor’s ONLY job is to teach and guide you, if you refuse to be teachable, than it’s a waste of time on both parts
5. Sobriety takes dedication and is a life long process, it doesn’t go away just because you want it to.
6. You can’t stop treatment when you start feeling better, the disease will go right back into affect when you drift away.
7. If you relapse, start back at the beginning and do what you didn’t do the first time.
8. Recovery can not be done on willpower alone.
9. Recovery is a choice and one you have to make every single day.
10. It only gets better if you give it your all. Half measures avail us nothing.
People can ask, beg and plead you to stop doing what you’re doing but it’s up to YOU to actually do it. You can’t stop for anyone other than yourself. You also can’t blame anyone for your addiction problems. No one forced a drink down your throat or pushed a drug into your system. You can convince yourself that it’s other people who make you do the things you do, after all, that’s what we do. Every single one of us does it. It’s always someone else other than ourselves. For example:
“My wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend left me, so I got trashed”
“I got fired, so I got trashed.”
“I had a rough day, so I got trashed”
“The kids worked my nerves, so I got trashed”
“You’d drink too if you had my life.”
I could keep going and going, the excuses can go on forever. But that’s all they are; EXCUSES. We get trashed because we want to. No body makes us do it. Stop playing the victim! I made excuses for twenty-eight years of my life. No matter what was going on I needed a drink or a drug to make it “better.” Guess what? It didn’t make it better! We get so good at altering reality we don’t know which way is up or down.
Once you cross that imaginary line between heavy use into full blown addiction, we loose all control and then the only way to stop is to get help. Like it or not, that’s the God’s honest truth. There is soooooo much help available out there but YOU have to take the first step and ask for it. YOU have to willingly admit that you have a problem, YOU have to be willing to go to any and all lengths and YOU have to put in the work. You have to own your problem before you can do anything about it.
Absolutely nothing will ever change unless you make things change. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over again, then expect a different outcome. Not only to do have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired, you have to be broken in order to admit you have a problem and find the willingness to take whatever measures you need to take to get and stay clean / sober. Stop trying to convince yourself that you can handle it on your own. Stop letting your pride, ego and fear stop you from asking for help. Anything is possible, even recovery if you want it bad enough.
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist.