“What if” I can’t stay sober?
“What if” I let people down?
“What if” I get sober and my life is boring?
“What if” my family still won’t forgive me even if I’m sober?
“What if” I can’t deal with being sober
“What if, What if, What if, What if”
The list of What If’s can go on and on. Look, the worst thing someone in recovery can do is get caught up in the “If Trap” Most of the time our addictions are fueled by fear. The “What if’s” will keep our fears close at heart and prevent us from doing what we must do in order to stay sober. What if is just another excuse to avoid what you must do. Fear can be a very dangerous thing, especially to one who is suffering from addiction. We MUST overcome that fear, otherwise we will stay stuck in our addiction.
In recovery, “Fear” means one of two things;
Everything OR Everything
The question would be which one do you want to do? How sick and tired of being sick and tired are you? Of course we always have a choice in the matter, but for every choice, there are consequences. If you chose to allow your fears to keep you from trying, the consequences can and will be deadly. When you get so engulfed in the “What if” trap, you’re stressing over the future. In recovery, you can’t think about the past or the future. “Yesterday is gone, you can’t change it or do anything about it. Tomorrow isn’t here yet, nor is it promised. Concentrate only on each given day. One day at a time is NOT just a phrase for those of us in recovery, it’s a way of life.
If you allow yourself to stay caught up in the What if trap, you are blocking yourself from reaching any goals in your life, not just recovery. You never know what you can do until you try. My father used to say, “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” What if will keep you from trying. If you have decided that you need help and are in the beginning phases of recovery, don’t think past 24 hours. How bad to you want to stay sober? How willing are you to do what you need to do in order to do just that? Is the pain of today worse than the fear of tomorrow?
Sobriety is about starting over. It’s about a life without the control of your addiction. You can do the “What if” all you want but rather than think about it in that manor, ask yourself this question instead……
“What if” it does work?
What do you have to lose? You have much more to lose if you don’t try than if you do.
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist