They say every alcoholic must first hit a bottom before they can begin their journey in recovery. Not all bottoms have to be as hard as loosing everything they have. Your bottom can be any situation that makes you desperate and willing enough to go seek help. We must first be completely broken before we can put ourselves back together.
Although I was standing on the very edge of losing everything and everyone that mattered to me, I didn’t. My bottom consisted of far too much alcohol on my part and a video camera at the hands of a friend. That was all it took for me to realize I was in real trouble and my life depended on my next move. There was no more denial or pride that could keep me from seeing the truth. I was broken. The fear of tomorrow was greater than the pain of today.
Hitting bottom could be when you are terrified to drink and just as terrified not to. When you find yourself in so much inner pain that you can no longer drown it out with alcohol. When you can’t see past the bottle and it scares you. Some people must hit a hard bottom before they can get sober, but you don’t necessarily have to. In addition to the bottle, it’s usually fear, pride and ego that prevents us from seeing things as they actually are and not what we believe them to be. Those same fears, pride and ego convinces us that we don’t have a problem, and even if we know we do, we can do it on our own. It’s those individuals who usually have to hit a hard bottom before they can finally get sober. They have to lose their families, their jobs, their freedom before that light bulb goes off in their heads that tell them they’re in real trouble. Some individuals refuse to pay attention to the signs and their bottoms are followed by death. That IS the reality of it.
When you find yourself saying time and time again “I can’t believe I did that again! What the hell have I done? I can’t live like this any more!” The proverbial red flags should start going off in your head. Don’t ignore those signs. Get the help you need. Desperation and pain can be a powerful motivator. When you find yourself desperate enough, you’ll find the willingness to do whatever it takes to get the help you need.
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist