Can’t Do it Alone


I can do this on my own

I don’t have a problem, you don’t know what you’re talking about

I can quit any time I want to, I just don’t want to

I’m not hurting anyone

I’m not as bad as you say I am

When I’m ready to quit, I’ll quit and I don’t need any help……

BULLSHIT!!! If you’re a real alcoholic you’ve said all of that at one time or another and it’s all BULLSHIT!  When people start telling you that there’s a problem, and you begin to hear it on a regular, THERE’S A PROBLEM!  We usually are always the last one to see it.  We always think we can do it on our own.  We don’t need help.  That is what’s known as STINKIN’ THINKIN’  There is no way an alcoholic can get truly sober without help, there’s no way for an addict to get truly clean without help..  Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s true.  Trust me when I tell you that.  I was one of the people I speak of!

The first time I walked into a 12 step meeting, I STILL didn’t think I needed it.  I was there to shut everyone up.  I was angry, I was irritated and I insisted that I was NOT one of “those people”  I went to a meeting once a week, didn’t get a sponsor and didn’t work any of the steps.  Why?  Because I didn’t feel I had to.  I was different than everyone else. I could stop if I really wanted to.  Of course being a Binge drinker and a Blackout drunk made it much easier for me to deny that there was a problem. It wasn’t until after my relapse and seeing the video tape of myself that I realized I truly was one of them. Walking back into the rooms I had an “Okay, I get it, I’m broke….How do you fix me?” attitude.  I realized that I had to humble myself and ask for help because I couldn’t do it on my own.



By the grace of God, I’ve been sober every day since.  12 step programs aren’t for everyone, it IS what worked for me.  There are several different kinds of programs out there to help with addiction and recovery.  It’s important that you find one that works for you.  HOWEVER COMMA….before that will happen, you MUST be ready and WILLING to receive that help.  You must admit that you do in fact have a problem.  You’ve got to let go of your pride.  If you’re not willing, than it’s not going to work.  “How” any recovery program works is exactly how it works…..

H = Honesty

O = Open mindedness

W = Willingness


You can keep thinking you can do it on your own, but I can tell you that it’s that way of thinking that will seal the nails on your coffin in the long run.   Is your stubbornness and pride worth your life?  I am NOT the know all, tell all of alcoholism….I’m an alcoholic who got sick and tired of being sick and tired and made the necessary changes to get sober.  I not only talk the talk, I walk the walk.  I’m not above anyone else and I could fall off the wagon tomorrow (God forbid) if I don’t do what I need to do. I follow my program and use the tools I’ve been taught every single day. I have to if I want to live.  The life I was living before was no life at all.  I am speaking to you out of my own experience.  Every single day I have to remind myself that I AM an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable. I have to work my program to the best of my ability every single day. I also make it a point to sponsor others who are just starting out because it was what was freely given to me.  Working with a newcomer

reminds me of where I once was.  It reminds me of my early days and it reminds me of where I never want to go back to.



I couldn’t do it alone and it can’t be done alone.  Some people need 12 step programs, some people need  residential programs, some people need outpatient programs. They are all set up to help others get clean and sober.  They are all full of people who can relate to the addiction and all that comes with it.  People who do not suffer from addiction don’t necessarily understand what it’s like, but if you are around people who DO know what it’s like,  people who actually get it, trust me, it helps much more than you know.


October 23, 2014

AJ Menendez

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