Denial & Excuses go hand in hand

Voice of Recovery from Addiction

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

I can’t be addicted to alcohol, they wouldn’t sell it in the stores if it was addictive

I don’t drink every day so I can’t be an alcoholic

I don’t drink as soon as I get up in the morning or get the shakes when I don’t have it.

I still have my job, my home, my kids and my spouse so I’m not hurting anyone.

I only drink at the clubs, I never drink at home alone

You’re just exaggerating, I wasn’t THAT bad last night

Oh, I just had a little more than normal and that’s why I blacked out, it doesn’t happen often

I was stressed out and needed a drink and it just got out of hand

The cop was just an ass hole & arrested me for nothing, I only had a few drinks & wasn’t drunk.

I wouldn’t have gotten drunk if they didn’t piss me off.

I know I said it a hundred times, but I promise this won’t happen again.

You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Don’t worry about it, “I got this” I can control it.

Have you ever poured on the guilt to others to excuse your actions?

Picked a fight just so you had an excuse to get drunk?

 

Okay, this list can go on and on and on.  Every single one I listed above, came directly out of my mouth at one point or another.  The scary part was I actually believed my own bull crap. I was always the victim, everyone was always coming down on me, nobody knew what they were talking about. I’d go on a constant “pity party” just to avoid the truth.  As long as I was the victim, they were always the wrong ones and I didn’t have to look at my own behavior.   My wife will readily admit she was my biggest enabler because she didn’t know how to deal with me.  She would “appease” me by buying me the smaller bottles, thinking that it would satisfy my craving at that would be it….I would drink that small bottle, wait till she fell asleep then take her credit card to go get the bigger bottle.  Then I’d find a half ass excuse to justify my actions that was only believable in my brain.

 

Looking back at it now after four years of sobriety, I find it mind boggling how much we can convince ourselves of even though the whole world sees it very differently. I think one of my biggest signs of denial was when I lived across the street from this little mom and pop liquor store where I wouldn’t buy my booze because they were so extremely over priced.  HOWEVER COMMA…..I would go there to buy the little airplane bottles to drink on my way to the nearest ABC store.  That, to a “normal” person should have been a red flag….not to me, I didn’t find it unmanageable in the least.   We’re REAL quick to pop excuses out of our mouths, but we never stop to think about WHY we’re having to make them.

 

Could it be that we don’t want to face the truth???  

Could it be that everyone around us has a valid point?  

Could it be because if we did, we’d come to the same conclusion that everyone else has???

 

We find it much easier to live in the world we created in our minds rather than to live in the reality of it all.  That’s just the plain truth. The problem is, our reality can kill us, the real reality can save us.  Admitting and accepting the fact that we have a problem and need help is terrifying. I speak from experience when I say that. But what is the alternative?  How unmanageable does your life have to get before you wave that white flag and surrender?  Contrary to one’s belief, it’s a real disease just like cancer & aides, there is NO cure and it IS life threatening.  I look at it this way, I AM definitely and alcoholic and I’m currently in remission.  I will always be an alcoholic, it’s never gonna go away. BUT I will stay in remission as long as I continue to do what I need to do in order to stay sober.  The first step to heading in that direction was to stop making excuses and take my blinders off.  The reality of it all  was scary and disturbing, but the only thing denial was giving me was a step closer to my grave. You do the math and then decide what’s best for you.

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July 19, 2014
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist

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3 thoughts on “Denial & Excuses go hand in hand

  1. Pingback: Denial & Excuses go hand in hand | Creative Designs

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