What’s your perception of “fun?”
I used to think all the crazy things I did while I was trashed was funny and acceptable. Peeing in the front yard with my dogs and all over myself, streaking, projectile vomiting at the worst moment, embarrassing the ones I love and seeing it as no big deal. After all, I wasn’t hurting anyone. That was what I identified as being “Fun” If I could successfully manipulate you, it was an accomplishment, if my lies were believable, I was talented, if I was loud and obnoxious, it meant (in my head) that I was cute. If I got away with something, than I was skilled. The list can go on and on and on. These are just a few of the examples of my own madness. Alcohol, at least in my mind, made me socially acceptable. It gave me confidence and strength….how in the world could that be a bad thing????
Looking back, I see nothing funny, skillful, talented or cute about my actions. I’ve come to realize that back then, I couldn’t have a good time without alcohol, and in reality, I wasn’t having a good time with it. (Well, I thought I was, but then, I was thinking with a twisted brain. LOL) I hear a lot of people, mostly from the younger generation who say “OMG my life is now gonna be boring as hell because I can’t drink or get high!” Tell me this….Where is the fun in causing all that wreckage? Not remembering it the next day? Waking up reeking of puke and piss? Where is the “Fun” in realizing you acted like a complete ass the night before??? If you can’t go and have a good time without drugs or alcohol, then THAT’S A PROBLEM.
Alcoholics CAN go out and have a good time in Sobriety but there are a few rules that must be followed.
1.) Their programs MUST be solid.
2.) They MUST be Spiritually fit.
3.) They should never ride with someone, they should always drive themselves. If they get that “itch” they can leave right away.
4.) Once the event is over, they should not hang around, they should leave.
5.) They should have a LEGITIMATE reason for being there (examples; To see a band, to play pool, bridal showers ect….) They should not go out to a club or bar “Just because they felt like it.”
Life does NOT end in Sobriety, it’s just beginning. Your perception of “fun” needs to be altered drastically and you must be strong in your own recovery. I’ve had more fun in my sobriety than within my own madness. My way of thinking and doing things are very different and I am fully aware of the fact that I no longer need the help of a bottle in order to have a good time. My smiles and laughter are genuine today, not alcohol induced. I can still act like a fool, but I’m aware of it, it really isn’t hurting anyone and it’s done all in fun.
Now if you’re part of the “younger generation” and you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking I’m full of Sh**! Trust me, I thought that in the very beginning as well. Truth is, whether you believe me or not is entirely up to you, but what I say IS fact. My life today is far from boring, in fact, it’s the total opposite. I got sober and I got busy as hell. My life is no longer destructive to me or anyone else. Today I am what can be considered as reliable, responsible, trusted and even liked! It’s been a long road to this point, I had a lot of damage control to do. Some of which still hasn’t been resolved. But I AM getting there one day at a time. I may not be where I want to be yet, but I’m definitely on my way.
July 2, 2014
AJ Menendez, Master Male Illusionist