Have you ever been in a room full of people, yet you felt helplessly alone? Maybe you’ve felt that the bottle in your hand was your only friend? The only thing that gave you comfort? I surely have. Alcohol seemed to give me strength, courage, the ability to be social and defined who I was. Without it, I was absolutely nobody. That’s very much the way I felt. I believed that alcohol helped to make me a better person. If I was sad, it cheered me up, if I was mad, it soothed me, if I felt lonely, it kept me company. The reality was, it was doing nothing but destroying me, day by day, bit by bit. I never stopped to realize that the more I drank, the less people I had in my life. It didn’t do anything but turn me into a monster that nobody wanted to be around. It made me a terrible parent and caused me to miss a great deal of my son’s life which I can never get back and turned me into a disrespectful, dishonest, manipulative person for nearly half my life. So why did it take me so long to come around and see it for the madness that it actually is? Because alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful.
We tend to believe that because alcohol is legal, we’re safe from addiction. Nay nay boo, alcohol is just as dangerous as pain killers, cocaine, heroin, meth or any of the other drugs out there killing people slowly but surely. Alcoholism IS a life sentence, but it does not have to be a death sentence. I have no idea how I was physically unaffected by the amount of drinking I did over the years. No liver damage, no wet brain, no Hep C. I truly had one foot in the grave and didn’t even know it. It is surely by the Grace of God that I am here today. Alcohol is NOT harmless, and it’s NOT something we can control once we cross that imaginary line into addiction. It wasn’t until after I got sober that I realized how deadly alcoholism can be. Within a years time, I’ve lost THREE people that meant something to me to alcohol. It was then that I realized not only how very deadly the disease is, but how very lucky I was not to have been consumed to that extent. At 5 foot 3 inches tall and about 130 pounds at the time, it was NOTHING for me to drink a Gallon of whiskey at a time. God must’ve had a plan for me. I think about this on a daily basis, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t thank God for sparing me. I was blessed with a “Do over” in life, and I intend to take advantage of it & life my life for all it’s worth. I appreciate what most people take for granted. Today I LIVE my life, rather than simply “EXIST” in it.
You tell yourself; “I don’t have a problem, I can stop any time I want to. I got it under control.” If you find yourself making those statements quite frequently, yet you continue to drink in epic proportions, it’s a sign that there IS a problem, and one you should look into ASAP. You never know when it’s going to be your last drink and not by your choice. Your body starts to shut down; liver failure, kidney failure, brain failure. Your insides turn to mush and the next thing you know, your family is laying you to rest. Is that shot or drink worth your life? THINK ABOUT IT.